Have an Ex Boyfriend to Get Back Together With? - Get a Commitment From Him

Published: 07th July 2009
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Let me describe a hypothetical situation in order to explain how to get an ex boyfriend back together with you.

A girl named Laura had an ex boyfriend and a problem. She really wanted to get back together with him, she thought about him all of the time. But she needed him to understand that in order to have a relationship she required real commitment from him.

Troy was what you could call an on again off again kind of man. For a while he go through a period of time when he would get really serious with Laura and value the relationship. But then all of a sudden he would back off and maybe even say that the two of them should see other people.

After this sequence had occurred three or four different times, Laura was pretty fed up with it all. For one thing, she was tired of saying Troy was her boyfriend one minute and then her ex boyfriend the next.

She had decided that to get back together this time would require something more from Troy, and she was going to stand firm on her demand.

So, Laura sat down and analyzed the situation in order to decide just what it was that she felt she needed from Troy. Then in order to get it, she decided on a strategic, two pronged strategy.

First, she let him know that she would be willing to get back together one more time. If at any point after that he called things off, she would dump him for good and move on with her life. She just had no other choice. Troy was going to have to be really serious this time around.

The second prong was equally as important in her strategy. Laura was savvy enough to realize that part of the problem was, in fact, with her. She acknowledged to herself that she had a tendency to push too hard to intensify the relationship a little too soon. Troy would initially go along, but then he would cool the relationship and ask for more space after a couple of weeks.

Laura's thought this time was that maybe Troy should set the pace for the seriousness of the relationship. She would not apply any pressure on him to make any commitments other than to see her exclusively; no other dating. Other than that one basic guideline, he would control the pace of their relationship.

When Laura presented this possible route to get back together to her ex boyfriend, Troy was quite receptive. In fact, he kind of liked the idea that he would control the pace once they did get back together. You see, Troy is like most men, he wants to be the pursuer of the woman. When Laura was setting the pace, that took away his sense of pursuit. While not realizing the actual words to describe how he felt, in relationship terms, he felt both emasculated and suffocated simultaneously.

One change in the relationship was that Laura stopped calling Troy. Instead, she let him call her. She also stopped suggesting date ideas and let him come up with the plans. Initially, the result was that they did not go out as often as what Laura would have liked. Moreover, their dates were a little less creative than they were when she did the planning.

On the positive side, however, she found that the time they did spent together was more meaningful to her than what it had been in the past. Troy no longer felt uncomfortable when he was with Laura. And best of all, Troy no longer felt he needed to take "breaks" from the relationship.

To summarize, what Laura did was decide what she wanted from Troy and their relationship. She knew she wanted him in her life but on a "full time" basis.

What she also realized was that she had to figure out what Troy wanted from her. He wanted to have his space and he also wanted to be the one in control of their relationship. Despite being a modern woman, Laura realized that this was important to Troy and was willing to make some changes accordingly.

Before Laura knew it, Troy was no longer an ex boyfriend. If you want to get back with your ex, figure out what you want and what he needs. Then start making your plan from there.

We can help you plan a way to get back together with your ex. Relationship issues are our specialty. Visit our website at http://www.RelationshipAdviceHelp.com and start your plan to get back together right now.

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